


I can go on a step for my dreams, for your dreams

by Ethan404Writes



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, everyone is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethan404Writes/pseuds/Ethan404Writes
Summary: A lot sure has changed after seven years-And suddenly it's Aoba's birthday, and he's left lost as to what to make of it - without knowing what to do with his future, and without Sei.Not to mention his sudden realization of his own feelings towards a certain group of people.Which he realizes has been by his side these entire past seven years.A fact that makes him feel a little breathless.(A very late birthday fic to Aoba. Happy birthday, Aoba!! <3)
Relationships: Clear/Seragaki Aoba, Koujaku/Seragaki Aoba, Mink/Seragaki Aoba, Mizuki/Seragaki Aoba, Noiz/Seragaki Aoba, Ren/Seragaki Aoba, Seragaki Aoba/Everyone
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	I can go on a step for my dreams, for your dreams

**Author's Note:**

> holy motherfucking shit are you KIDDING me
> 
> Why do I do this to myself  
> Why is this 13k words long
> 
> legit I woke up in a panic at 3am days before his birthday wondering when Aoba's birthday was  
> I found out and panicked and started writing this  
> And I finished it just now  
> fuck
> 
> But at least I finished it  
> and honestly its an absoloute mess but i cant care anymore i just want this d o n e
> 
> I realize now this is the first DMMd fic I post even tho ive been into it just as long as ive had this account... and i have tried writing for it but ive legit never finished a DMMd fic until now (Actually thats not true I posted a shit DMMd oneshot to my tumblr ages ago... cringe)  
> im still pissed that its 13k words
> 
> so. this isn't beta read and other than the writing errors i know in general that its messy and i am sorry  
> im worrking on other DMMd fics rn so i,,, am gonna try and make sure theyre better lmao  
> bc at least those dont have a time limit... anyway
> 
> not beta read, and im terrible with tense switching and i already know therell be a fuck ton of tense switching and other errors that i didnt catch so im again super sorry
> 
> I just wanted to show some Aoba apprecation and have the happiest and sappiest ending possible  
> I think i achieved that maybe  
> at the cost of my sanity
> 
> please,,, enjoy,,,  
> ALSO a note I wrote this taking place after the anime but its been a while since i watched that so some things may be incorrect but- basically Aoba saves everyone but doesnt actually end up with anyone,,, like in a relationship  
> anyway

April 19th.

"Good afternoon! Thank you for calling. This is Junk Shop Heibon." Aoba vaguely registers the sound of a cardboard box being set down behind him followed by silence as he speaks.

"Hm? Hello?" The person on the other end gasps and forces out a strained giggle. Aoba holds back a sigh and the urge to hang up immediately and instead waits patiently for the other person to... calm down? Aoba didn't want to think about it.

"A-Ah... sorry-! I, um... I..." The person stutters and mumbles, agitating Aoba even further as he forces his disgust down.

"Sorry, I can't quite hear you. Can you speak up please?"

"Y-Your... your voice. It's... it's..." He hears laboured breathing from the other side as his arm holding the phone trembles as the urge to throw the phone back down and hang up was unbearable.

Why did he still work here, again?

This goes on for nearly half an hour before Aoba is able to successfully hang up after concluding the "conversation" - which was really just Aoba trying to convince the customer to actually buy something instead of... doing whatever they were doing to his voice.

Having a mind-controlling (and apparently really lovely-sounding) voice is a curse in a lot of ways, but Aoba can still use it to his advantage.

Aoba lets out a long, drawn-out sigh as he hears a chuckle behind him as a hand tightly grips his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He hears a deep voice reach his ears as he looks up at the man behind him, smiling gently, amused- but concern was still evident in their expression.

Aoba shakes his head with a soft laugh as he rests his hand over Ren's. "I'm fine. They weren't so bad this time. It's been worse. ...A lot worse." He frowns as he recalls the time- a couple years ago, now- where a customer was very obviously jerking off to his voice.

He hated his job sometimes, he really did. But Haga was such a kind man, and has been a huge help in so many ways throughout the years, Aoba couldn't bring himself to just quit. He knew how stressed Haga could get running the store on his own, so Aoba tried to help out as much as he could.

Ren did too, of course. Although he seemed pretty busy with something lately, something definitely unrelated to the shop.

Besides, maybe with his weird power, he should keep his job like this.

He shrugs lightly to nobody in particular at the thought, noticing how stiff his shoulders felt at the movement.

Ren seems to pick up on Aoba's hidden meaning as his expression falls. "Ah... I suppose that's true. Still. Do you want to take a break? It's almost time for one anyway." At Ren's words, Aoba looks over at the old clock on the wall and realizes that Ren is right.

He squeezes Ren's hand once more before stretching his arms behind his head, and stands- feeling a sudden surge of tiredness suddenly. "Sure, let's go let Haga know."

Ren looks a bit more like he did in Rhyme all those years ago. He had more muscle than before, his shoulders wider. He also started keeping his hair shorter, and sometimes even spiked it up a little bit. Aoba wasn't really sure why, he guessed that perhaps Ren was fond of his Rhyme form. He didn't know- but it's not like it mattered- Ren was happy.

Alongside that, Ren also looked more... human than ever before. It was weird to explain, but Ren looked _alive_. When Aoba realized just how much of a blessing it was that Ren was even here with him like this, he couldn't help but feel his chest bloom with warmth and happiness.

Everyone else had changed too, though.

Koujaku now owned his own hair salon, and didn't go through all the effort to hide his tattoos- with his hair not covering the side of his face completely.

And when it was just Koujaku and Aoba, or anyone else who _knew_ Koujaku's tattoos, he didn't really hide them at all. He often tied his hair back into a messy bun, still with his mothers hairpin, and wore more revealing shirts.

He looked _comfortable_ , at last. Like he was at peace, and only now does Aoba realize just how much Koujaku was struggling before.

Of course there were the nights where Aoba would be woken by a phone call from Koujaku, and he would stay up late into the night as the two talked mindlessly and Aoba listened to Koujaku's breathing grow steadier and his voice grow softer as they talked.

They were close friends, and Aoba was happy that the two understood each-other so well now. He was happy to see Koujaku happy.

Noiz had finally become a mature, responsible adult- for the most part.

He worked with his brother in Germany, but he would always make time to visit Aoba whenever possible, and always unannounced. He could show up at the shop, in the street, or straight up at his house. He noticed that Noiz's shoulders would loosen as his expression softened when they met each time. Aoba couldn't really pin down the emotion he saw in his eyes, though.

Despite being a successful businessman, Noiz could still act like a brat. He still held a childish attitude to a lot of things, and always teased and made jokes at Koujaku's expense (Although compared to a few years ago, the jokes were always told with an affectionate tone to them)- and as much as Koujaku complained and joked back, the two had clearly found at least somewhat even ground.

Aoba could even call them friends, maybe. To an extent.

Noiz still carried his UsagiModoki like before, and always expressed a great fondness for bunnies. One time Noiz saw a bunny Allmate when he came back to visit Midorijima, and couldn't take his eyes off it. He ended up buying two of them later that day. He often left those Allmates back in his home in Germany, though.

Clear was more present in Aoba's life than Noiz was, visiting Aoba's house almost as much as Koujaku did.

He didn't wear his gas mask anymore, but he had taken to carrying around a small jellyfish toy Aoba had bought him years ago. He honestly didn't expect Clear to love the gift as much as he did, but he was happy nonetheless.

Clear still asked a ton of questions, and they were almost always silly, mundane things rather than the kind of dark and existential questions he used to ask.

He still did wonder about such things, of course. And when he did, Aoba would hold him close and ruffle his hair as he instead talked about all the good and fun things life had to offer to distract him, at least momentarily, from the unfortunately very real fact that Clear was going to outlive him, being a machine - and everyone else, too. He saw how quiet and distant Clear could get when something like birthdays was mentioned, too.

But soon Clear would be back to his bubbly energetic self as Aoba would encourage him to simply live in the present.

Clear adored the beach, as it turns out, and would usually send Aoba pictures of the things he would find on the beach and on his walks around the island as well. He had taken to collecting sea glass, and by now he had amassed a huge collection. Aoba remembers how shiny and bright it was last time he visited Clear's- Clear's grandfathers- house.

Mink didn't show up all that much, though Aoba had noticed his visits become more often and more regular in recent years.

Mink was nothing like when they first met, being a lot more patient and even gentle. He even caught him smiling occasionally and on rare occasions, he laughed.

Mink seemed at peace with himself. Sometimes Mink even gifted Aoba handmade decorations and hair ornaments, and they were always so beautiful. Aoba kept most of them safely put away, but he tended to wear a couple occasionally.

Mink still kept his distance from everyone else and people in general, but he at least seemed to get along with the others. He didn't notice until Clear pointed it out, but Mink seems to be at ease and comfortable around Aoba.

Aoba had visited Mink's home village once, and even stayed for a while at his home. Aoba saw a completely new side to him at that time- and he finds himself thinking about it when his mind wandered.

Mizuki was better than ever, really. He had a scar on his neck from the process of removing that Morphine tattoo, which he tended to hide as much as he could with makeup and wearing shirts and jackets with big collars.

He was still the leader of Dry Juice- and a lot of the members that were taken by Morphine came back to the team as well. Mizuki and Aoba hung out more often since all those years ago, too. He didn't realize just how little he knew about Mizuki or even understood him until they did.

Still, Mizuki seems more upbeat and energetic compared to even a couple years ago. It was after he was able to leave the hospital, that he seemed to become alive and _shine_. Like he was driven by a new purpose.

Aoba thought this Mizuki was much better, honestly. He also learned just how childishly cheerful he could be.

He also learned Mizuki's biggest weakness- cherry-flavoured sour sweets. If you wanted Mizuki to do _anything_ , bribe him with sour sweets - preferably cherry flavoured of course. Peaches also worked too, he found - canned peaches worked better than regular stuff as well.

Aoba wondered why and how he knew of the best ways to bribe Mizuki, but he got the feeling that had something to do with Desire. Because obviously he would know how to bribe people.

Aoba stills as he's eating his lunch, realizing his eyes had been slipping shut. Getting caught up in nostalgia, he's taken back to all those years ago when they infiltrated Platinum Jail and took down Toue... how long ago was that?  
It was a couple years ago, definitely... no, it had to be more than that... maybe a couple years and a few months? No, wait...

Four... five... six...

...Seven...

...Seven years.

Seven? That couldn't be right. Did everything really happen _seven_ years ago? Aoba couldn't decide if that felt like a long or short time ago. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes- yes, it really has been seven years.

Seven whole years since everything happened. Seven years since his _life_ changed.

Seven years since he himself changed others lives, as well. Countless, if he were to include the people he had likely saved from Toue's brainwashing - before he got the chance to brainwash them, that is.

A strange mix of emotions suddenly fills Aoba's chest as he stops eating altogether. Nostalgia, melancholy, sweetness and bitterness... what exactly was he feeling?

Was he simply just shocked at how long it had been already? Why did his chest ache so strangely?

Was it even nostalgia that he was feeling? It would be pretty strange to get _nostalgic_ over breaking into a massive facility and taking down a corrupt leader, all the while going into people's heads and fighting against your other self which was apparently always there but you just... forgot. About.

A lot of things happened, he realizes now- a lot of it being kinda weird.

So then, what was this?

Suddenly he lost his appetite as his chest continued to swirl with confusing bittersweet feelings.

Seven years, huh...

"Aoba? What's wrong?" Aoba's head snaps back up to look at Ren, who's gazing back at him with obvious concern. "Are you all right?" Ren was always worrying and fussing over him- who forces a soft smile, shaking his head.

"Ah, it's nothing. I think I'm just kinda tired," he laughs as he stretches his arms above his head. Ren looks unconvinced as his brows furrow even deeper.

"I don't mean to doubt you, but you have a strong tendency to hide whatever you're feeling so as to not worry others." Aoba smiles ruefully. He appreciated Ren's- Koujaku's- Clear's- _Everyone's_ concerns and care for him, but honestly sometimes Aoba felt like he couldn't even be mildly annoyed without someone trying to cheer him up. He really did appreciate it, but sometimes he just wanted to... be upset, he supposed.

And now was one of those times, probably.

Although why realizing that the whole Platinum Jail thing happened around seven years ago brought on all these feelings, he didn't know.

"Sorry, it's fine. I..." Aoba tries to think of something to say. Did he want to come up with an excuse to calm Ren down? Did he want to vent how he felt? Did he want to just... brush it off? He couldn't think of a single word to say. Eventually he sighs as he swallows, his mouth feeling dry. "I'm fine. Really."

Ren's eyes dart away as his expression falls even further, but he seems to realize that Aoba didn't want to talk about whatever was on his mind. Ren tried to understand when Aoba- or anyone, really- felt that way and give them space, but it was difficult as his first instinct was always to comfort that person and stop them being upset as soon as possible.

_Especially_ when it came to Aoba.

"...Alright. If it's still on your mind later, you can talk to me, or Tae, or Koujaku, or... anyone about it. You also have a tendency to overthink things, but as am I not an Allmate anymore, I cannot sense when you are overthinking, and so-" Aoba holds up his hands to signal Ren to stop talking as his shoulders shook with quiet laughter.

"I-I understand, really. Thank you, Ren. For always taking care of me." At that, Ren's expression lightens somewhat as he smiles softly.

"Of course. I must say the same to you." Aoba breathes out slowly with a smile.

"The pleasure is mine, Ren."

Those weird feelings in his chest didn't go away through the rest of his shift, as his mind jumped back and forth with various things. He couldn't quite concentrate and it was frustrating. Seriously, why was he so shaken by the whole thing?

It's been a few years, so what. Obviously it had been. Time was always moving forward, naturally.

But when he looked at the people around him, and he saw just how they changed- how they had moved on from their pasts and learned to cope with their demons...

He looked at them, and then he looked back at himself.

How had he- _Aoba_ \- changed?

The fact that he didn't know the answer to that question had him stopping in his tracks on the way home.

April 20th.

After nearly being late to work because he had somehow slept through his alarm (and Ren was too polite to wake him), and Ren having to lock the door behind them as Aoba forgot to- again- the two were finally on their work to the shop.

Aoba suddenly hears the sound of wings flapping- and at first he thinks it might be Beni, but he realizes it sounds different to Beni's wings- larger?

He's about to shrug it off and forget about it when he also realizes that the sound is steadily drawing nearer.

And then he sees it in the corner of his eye - a flash of pink.

"Ah - wait!" Aoba calls out without thinking as the bird circles around and perches itself upon a rooftop.

"It's been a while, Aoba."

"Huracan...! Wait, then-" Aoba looks around frantically, searching for that familiar head of long, flowing chestnut hair and that long coat-

He hears a sigh behind him as he spins around, and is met with a sight that causes him to grin widely. "Mink-!!"

It had been a couple months since their last meeting, it wasn't really that long- but Mink always let Aoba known in advance and usually stuck to a pattern... a routine.

This is completely out of the blue.

"...Aoba." Mink nods, acknowledging Aoba as Huracan flies back to Mink's shoulder. "Ren." He looks to Ren standing beside Aoba as Ren smiles kindly.

"Its nice to see you again, Mink." Aoba looks back at Ren- he doesn't look surprised at all to see Mink here. He's acting as if they had met the other day, or something. But Ren was with him most of the day yesterday, and the day before that, and etc- ...Well, it didn't matter. He was happy to see Mink again.

"I'm surprised you're just showing up out of nowhere. Is something up?" Aoba tilts his head, feeling slightly concerned at Mink's sudden appearance.

Mink smiles softly in return, making Aoba's heart leap slightly at the sight. "Nothing is wrong. I just have some things to do here."

Aoba raises his brow as he hums. "I see..." Aoba suddenly realizes that he's supposed to be on his way to work as he checks his coil. "Ah, dammit, we have to get to work... um... I'll see you later?" He smiles sadly, half expecting Mink to say that he wasn't going to stay for long and would be heading back later, or something- But to his relief Mink simply nods with a small smile and bids him goodbye as he walks past.

Aoba lights up as Ren chuckles. "We should hurry, Aoba. We're already late." Aoba checks his coil again. Five minutes past when he was supposed to be in work. He whines at the back of his throat- it's not his fault he slept through his alarm!

"Shit, you're right. Come on!" Aoba grabs Ren's hand and pulls him along as he starts to run, a laugh bubbling up from Ren's chest.

A frantic run and a dozen apologies later, after the usual work, Aoba left the shop to make a delivery.

Years ago, when he didn't have Ren anymore, It was difficult at first as he was so used to having his Allmate guide him- and he got lost a couple times when making deliveries again. That said, he really doesn't need an Allmate anymore, with all of the functions Ren used to have being in his coil now instead.

It was hard adjusting to life without the Allmate by his side- and those months without Ren at all before he got that phone call were pure agony and loneliness. He realized then just what people mean when they talk about how you don't know what you have until you lose it.

But Ren is here _now_. And that's all that mattered.

He fights off the dark thoughts creeping in and finishes the delivery, starting to head back.

On the way back however, he sees a commotion with a big group of people gathering around something as cheers and yells erupted. Aoba can't help but be curious, so he cautiously steps towards the crowd and tries to see what's going on.

He hears a familiar voice from inside the crowd, and starts to push his way to the centre- he knew exactly what was going on now.

...Still, he kind of wanted to watch.

In the middle of the crowd are two men - both wearing a lot of red, Aoba somehow just now realizes.

The two throw playful taunts at each-other with grins on their faces. Aoba smiles with a sigh as he shakes his head.

Mizuki and Koujaku fighting, both amazingly skilled Rib leaders. It was no wonder everyone was scrambling to watch.

They would do this occasionally, just... fight each-other as friendly competition. Although sometimes they would hit too hard or get too into it and it was usually Aoba that patched them back up.

With the way the crowd was egging them on, he feared he would be spending that evening doing just that.  
  


Aoba watches with awe and a little bit of pride as the two skillfully exchanged punches and throws, almost like a dance. They're not trying to actively hurt each-other after all.

Aoba takes a picture of the scene with his coil and sends it to Ren, who immediately replies telling Aoba to make sure they don't actually hurt themselves. Aoba huffs a laugh and replies telling Ren to leave it to him.

He continues to watch until the match ends, and cant help but feel a strange affection swell in his chest for them both.

Koujaku and Mizuki both breathed heavily as their respective Rib teams congratulates them both. Koujaku seemed to "win" this round, unlike last time. Aoba grins as he approaches them and watches both of their faces light up as the rest of the members greet Aoba as he smiles and waves.

"Aoba!" Koujaku exclaims, surprise evident in his voice.

Mizuki grins with a wave, "You were watching, right?"

Aoba rolls his eyes with a smile. "It was hard to ignore the crowds of people yelling and cheering right in the middle of the street."

Koujaku chuckles sheepishly. "Ah, yeah... we probably shouldn't have done that here." Mizuki agrees with a laugh.

"Anyway... what are you doing here? On a delivery?" Koujaku asks as the team members begin to disperse.

Aoba nods. "That is, until I saw you guys." He stares at both of them with a deadpan expression. "You're both okay, right? No cuts or bruises for _me_ to take care of?" He drawls with his hands on his hips, but he couldn't deny that he was genuinely concerned for them. But of course he wasn't going to just admit that.

Mizuki chuckles as he pats Aoba's shoulder, the touch creating a sudden jolt of warmth to appear in his chest, the shoulder that Mizuki holds feeling unusually sensitive. "Yeah, we're fine. You don't have to worry."

Before Aoba can reply, another hand starts to softly ruffle his hair. "Wah-!"

"Yup, we wouldn't want to worry you so we took it easy." Koujaku grins as he continues to ruffle Aoba's hair- before Aoba pulls back with a scowl, turning away to hide his red cheeks.

"You guys... seriously. Idiots." Aoba mutters as he crosses his arms.

"Shouldn't you be heading back now? You've finished your delivery, right?" Koujaku's words snap Aoba back to reality as he checks the time. He had spent all that time watching them.

"Oh- dammit. This is your fault." He shoots a playful glare at the two of them before beginning to run off in a hurry. "I'm off, then. See you!" He calls behind his back as they wave him off.

Ren can only laugh knowingly as Aoba spews apologies. "Was it a good fight?"

Aoba sighs, hiding his smile. "It was."

  
  


Whilst sitting at the desk and doing various pieces of work, Aoba stretches and looks around idly, hoping for something to catch his interest so he could stop working for a bit, probably.

His eyes drift towards the door, then to the wall- and he notices a mark in the wall.

He stares at it for a moment, puzzled- then he suddenly remembers how that even happened. It was from the door handle, when Mio, Kio and Nao swung the door open one day with such force it left a dent in the wall.

That happened after Platinum Jail, it must have- he remembers Ren staring at the dent looking immensely troubled.

Those three brats don't really visit anymore, having grown up and moving onto terrorizing other things instead of their weird local shop.

Aoba stares at the mark for a while before forcing himself back to work.

  
  


There's a sudden knock at the door. "I'll get it!" Ren exclaims rather loudly as he scrambles to get the door. Aoba watches on rather bewildered by Ren's strange panic. He glances at Tae who simply huffs.

Aoba hears talking from the entrance, too muffled for him to make out what they were saying or who was talking- but soon two other people arrive in the living room alongside Ren.

"Oh- Clear? Koujaku?" Aoba stares at the two in surprise. Had Koujaku texted Aoba to say he would be coming over for dinner that night? He hadn't, right? And he arrived with Clear, too...

"Good evening, Aoba! Tae!" Clear bows with a wide smile. Aoba wanted to question this but honestly, Clear's constant cheerfulness made him not really care anymore. It was hard not to be happy around him.

"Yo, Aoba. Good evening," Koujaku bows to Tae as well, considerably more graceful than Clear.

Tae nods with a huff as Aoba chuckles. "You guys are over for dinner or something? You should have let me know," he directs that last part at Koujaku. Koujaku grins in response, before turning to Ren with a troubled smile.

Ren nods. "They are, but they're also here because-" Ren's eyes started to shift around the room. "-Beni has been acting a little strangely so I'm going to take a look and see if there are any problems." Aoba stares in silence. That whole sentence felt... horribly scripted. He narrows his eyes.

"Beni? I could take a look as well, if you want. Wait, then why is Clear here?" He looks at Clear who is pressing his lips shut tightly as he glares at the ground.

Ren clears his throat and quickly speaks up. "Ah, he just wanted to tag along. That's what Koujaku said." Ren looks back to Koujaku who coughs into his hand with a forced laugh.

"Yeah, that's right! I did say that, didn't I." It feels like they're struggling to keep the truth to themselves as they just glance around the room, standing stiffly in the doorway. What the hell was going on?

"Yeah! So we're going upstairs now! Where the tools are! To fix Beni! See you-!" Koujaku can't seem to take any more and grabs both Ren and Clear's wrists as they all rush upstairs.

The room is silent.

Aoba slowly turns to look at Tae who smiles with a knowing look. "Don't worry about them." Wait, is Tae in on this too? Aoba's head swimms with questions as he sighs and shakes his head.

"They better not mess around with my tools..." Aoba still had the tools he needed to fix and repair Ren all those years ago. After Ren came back, Aoba figured he'd throw them out- before Ren took an unexpected interest in repairing Allmates.

He shrugs. It couldn't have been anything bad, so there was no need to worry- he's more surprised than anything else.

And also amused, since all three of them were known to be terrible liars.

A few hours later, Koujaku, Ren and Clear all came back downstairs with oddly determined expressions. Clear and Koujaku left after everyone had dinner, and Ren wouldn't say a word.

Aoba found himself drifting off to sleep feeling agitated.

April 21st.

"Yes? I'm sorry, I can't hear you that well. Could you repeat that? ...Hello?" And they hang up. Aoba holds back a heavy sigh and puts back down the phone with maybe a little more force than needed. He could feel a headache coming on, which thankfully ever since Platinum Jail had nothing to do with _him_.

Aoba types away at the keyboard in front of him when he hears the door open. "Hello, welcome to Junk Shop Heibon, what would you-" He starts speaking immediately, putting on his (really good, if he were honest) customer service voice as he swivels around in the chair- and is stunned silent.

The man in front of him lets out a mix between a sigh and a laugh and smiles. "Yo."

"Noiz-?" Aoba's brain catches up with the situation as his tense shoulders relax and he lets out a sigh, his mood brightened by seeing him again. He hasn't seen him in quite a while, actually.

"Ah, hey. Sorry, I didn't realize it was you." He suddenly feels incredibly awkward for speaking to Noiz with his too-friendly and polite customer voice. He has a bad feeling Noiz is going to use this to tease him, somehow.

"It's fine. I would've arrived sooner if there wasn't a sudden influx of work to do." Noiz glances away, scowling. Now that he looks properly, Noiz looks kind of tired. There are bags under his eyes, his tie is slightly undone and his hair is a little out of order.

"Hm? It's fine, there's no reason to be in Midorijima right now, right? Unless something is going on?" Noiz pauses at Aoba's words, before letting out a snort as his shoulders shook slightly.

"Hmm. Nah, there isn't." Noiz grips the desk and leans forward, closer to Aoba's face as his voice grew quieter. "I just wanted to see you."

Aoba is still before he's sliding back on the chair with red in his cheeks. "Come on, I thought you were done with making weird jokes and being a brat." Noiz quirks his brow as he leans back again.

"I wasn't joking, though."

Aoba rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. ...Anyway, you look pretty tired. You okay?" Aoba tries to turn the attention back to Noiz as he takes in his somewhat dishevelled appearance.

"Me? I should be asking you that," Noiz shows a lopsided smile as he walks around to Aoba's back and rests his hands on his shoulders. "Yeah. You're pretty tense."

  
Aoba lets out a sound as Noiz presses his thumbs into Aoba's back. He wasn't actually going to give him a massage, right? "I-I am? What are you doing-?"

The door opens once again and this time Ren is the one to step through, carrying a few small cardboard boxes. He looks over at Aoba, with Noiz's hands still on his shoulders.

"Oh, Ren. Have you even noticed how tense Aoba is?" He gives his shoulders a squeeze as Aoba brings his hand to his mouth so as to not make any sounds. "He seems stressed. You need to do something about it." Why was Noiz so focused on this? And what kind of greeting is that? It feels like Ren and Noiz have been talking recently, and maybe they have, but they don't usually talk like-

Noiz presses on a particularly sore spot and Aoba lets out a sound like a yelp as he does so.

Ren's expression seems complicated- he looks concerned, annoyed, surprised and just plain confused all at once. "Ah, is that so... I apologise, Aoba. I didn't realize." Ren sets down the cardboard boxes.

"It-It's fine, seriously, so-" Aoba stands and escapes from Noiz's grasp. "-Cut it out already!" Aoba hangs his head and tries to cover his face as his cheeks burned. Truthfully, he wouldn't mind a massage... even from Noiz. Although he slightly feared getting a massage from Noiz of all people.

Noiz smirks with a snort as Ren looks even more troubled. "Aoba, are you okay?"

Aoba lightly brushes back the hair from his face. "Yeah, I'm fine..."

"Was it that good? I wonder what you'd be like if I did it properly." Aoba sincerely wished there was something in his general vicinity to hurl at Noiz's stupid smirking face. Instead he opts for a light glare.

He opens his mouth change the subject, yet again- but closes it immediately as the door behind him suddenly opens.

"Noiz!" ...Koujaku. It's Koujaku. And standing beside him is Mizuki. They're both out of breath and Koujaku looks slightly pissed off, but mainly panicked.

"Wha-?" Aoba tries to speak before another body forces itself into small shop, dragging with them another person. - Clear and Mink?

Clear was completely out of breath as Mink looked mildly annoyed. "What? I- what are-?" Aoba tries to speak and make sense of the situation, before he's cut off again.

"You were supposed to contact us when you arrived, you brat!" Koujaku scolds Noiz who merely shrugs.

"I wanted to see Aoba." Koujaku frowns as his glare hardens. "Besides, it's fine. He doesn't know anything." Aoba's eyes dart around to look at Noiz, then at everyone else- he didn't know _what?_

"Shh! It's a surprise!" Clear hushes in vain with his finger to his lips.

"I think we're upsetting Aoba- it would be best for us all to leave the shop for now," Ren tries to interject, but Aoba holds up his hand to stop him.

"What the hell is going on? You've all been acting weirdly!"

"See? He doesn't know. It's fine." At this point Aoba was less _confused_ and more _annoyed_ as everyone continued to dodge the subject. "Besides, you're all no better. Koujaku, I saw you talking with him this morning. Mink met Aoba the day after he arrived, Mizuki has been texting him - and as a side note, you- Ren, Clear and Koujaku, all suck at lying. You might as well have just said you were hiding something and couldn't tell him rather than make those piss-poor excuses." Noiz glances at Ren. "Ren is the only one who's been doing his job properly, but he doesn't count because he's with Aoba twenty-four-seven anyway. The rest of you are just as bad as I am."

Everyone was stunned silent and wore varying expressions of guilt and shame.

Haga walks into the room, talking about something or other about prices and figures, and stops.

"You're all coming to my house later to explain whatever the fuck it is you've been doing." Aoba slips his hands into his jacket pockets, eyes glowing a gentle gold. "I mean, _I_ know. But _he's_ an idiot." He grins lopsidedly. "I gotta say though, it was entertaining as hell to watch. But now I'm bored, and I wanna see his reaction to this."

Everyone merely nods in silence, leaving a stunned and rather concerned Haga.

  
  
  


"A... party?" Aoba tilts his head to the side with a puzzled frown. "Why a party?" Everyone explained that they had been planning a party for Aoba- they were all keeping in close contact with each-other to discuss the party, and everyone came to a weird sort of agreement that they would stay away from Aoba so as to not accidently reveal anything about their plans. Which Aoba supposed explained the whole scene in the shop. Seriously though, limiting contact? Was that really necessary? 

Everyone in the room simultaneously glanced at each-other wearing wry and knowing smiles. "This is why I said you have nothing to worry about." Noiz snickers, breaking Koujaku out of his grin and instead he shoots a light, half-hearted glare in Noiz's direction.

"I can't believe you don't know, Aoba..." Clear's shoulders slump.

"Seriously... in some ways you really haven't changed at all," Koujaku laughs.

"I kind of think it's impressive to forget such a thing," Mizuki struggles to keep on a neutral face as his lips quirk into a smile.

"I would've thought something like this would be more important to you, Aoba." Mink comments idly.

"Have you forgotten what date it is?" Ren tilts his head curiously, a soft smile on his face.

The comments come one after another, leaving Aoba no time to react. "H-Hey! If it's that important, then just... tell me instead of making fun of me!" Aoba can't help but pout, a bout of nervousness welling up inside him. What is it? Is it an anniversary? Is it an event they scheduled months ago? His head spins with questions and worries about what he has apparently forgotten all about.

Ren opens his mouth to speak, before Beni flies over to his shoulder and starts to peck at his cheek. "Don't tell him! Let him figure it out!" He yells- into Ren's ear, making him wince- as Koujaku snatches Beni back and holds his beak shut.

"You never fail to be exceedingly loud and stupid." Huracan comments, causing Beni to wriggle around in Koujaku's hands even harder as his feathers puff up in anger- making him look very fluffy.

Aoba's thoughts race as he tries to remember something, anything. Ren mentioned something about the date, so...

  
"It's... April..." He can feel amused stares on him but he ignores them and checks his coil for the date. "It's the 21st..." He pauses, staring at the date intently. There's nothing on April 21st, he's sure- so what about tomorrow? "April 22nd..." He pauses again- this date is familiar. Very familiar.

Ren's birthday? No, wait- years ago, Ren decided to "move" his birthday to the 23rd so Aoba could-

"It's _my birthday?!_ " Aoba accidentally raises his voice in surprise, mouth hanging open. It's his fucking birthday. His own birthday and he forgot.

Aoba is left speechless as various thoughts race through his head. One, he had forgotten his own birthday- not only that, but he had forgotten it's Ren's birthday- on the 23rd, at least- and hadn't gotten anything. A wave of immense guilt crashes violently over him- until he realizes another thing.

That party they were talking about was for him.

"Wait, wait, wait- you were all planning a... birthday... party?" He finally looks properly at everyone. "For me?" Is that why Mink and Noiz suddenly came back?

"Of course!" Both Koujaku and Clear shout in unison, both looking practically offended.

"We couldn't just ignore it, could we? After all, you're turning-" Mizuki stops himself mid-sentence, shaking his head with a soft laugh. "Well, anyway. Seriously though, you've forgotten your own birthday before, but... not like, completely forgot it." Mizuki frowns at his own sentence as Noiz then speaks up.

"You seemed pretty stressed when I came to the shop today. Are you overworking yourself?" Noiz asks bluntly.

Aoba looks off to the side, absent-mindedly biting his lip. Had he been overworking himself? Honestly, he isn't really sure. Maybe he had... these past months have been almost a blur of working and thinking about nothing except the work he had to do the next day. It wasn't that things were much busier than usual, though- perhaps he had just allowed himself to slip too deeply into working and it had slowly piled up over time.

He wasn't sure there was a reason for it, exactly.

"People often don't notice how chaotic their mind has become until it is impacting them physically." Mink explains. Aoba rubs at his neck with a sigh.

"I-I don't know. Maybe I have, but... it's not a problem, though! It's not like I'm about to collapse or anything..." He laughs awkwardly, hoping to dispel everyone's worries. The last thing he wanted to do is make people worry over him.

"That's not it. If you became ill because you didn't take care of yourself, that would definitely be a problem." Ren speaks seriously, before looking away with an expression mixed with sadness and guilt. "It's my fault. I should have noticed that you were overextending yourself..."

Beni flies over and sits atop Aoba's head, peering over and staring into his eyes. "You shouldn't take collapsing as a sign to stop working! It's not a race, if it's too much then you have to stop!" Beni then looks away as his feathers fluff up once again. "Besides, if you got sick, Koujaku would worry and then we _both_ would have to deal with his fussing."

Aoba vaguely registers the "Oi!" from Koujaku as Huracan releases a soft sigh. "For once, I can agree with you. Humans have a way of neglecting themselves and doing things the difficult way."

"P! Noiz has a bad habit of overworking too, P! You are not alone, Aoba!" Noiz quickly grabs the lone Usagimodoki that managed to escape his pocket and hides it away as it helplessly squeaks in surprise.

Aoba can't help the small laugh that escapes him. "I'm sorry... I'll try and take better care of myself so... please don't worry." He smiles softly, flustered at the amount of attention but also grateful that everyone cared so much. "And... the party is going to be tomorrow, right?"

Clear's expression brightens with a grin. "That's right!"

"Right... then I trust all of you to make it an amazing birthday. It's gonna make up for all of you acting so weirdly, right?" He adds the last part on jokingly in an attempt to hide his own excitement. Nearly everyone agrees enthusiastically, save for Mink, Noiz and... Ren.

Aoba looks over and sees Ren uncharacteristically quiet with a saddened expression. Aoba's excitement immediately fades as concern takes its place.

"Ah... we should all probably leave now. Its getting late and we need to prepare for tomorrow." Koujaku sighs, standing up as he absent-mindedly pets Beni's head with his finger.

Mizuki nods in agreement as Clear jumps up and walks over to stand directly in front of Aoba. "Aoba... I understand you're hard-working, but please don't work too hard! I don't want to see you unhappy or sick..." Clear stares down at the ground, looking like a kicked puppy as his lower lip trembled.

Noiz stands next to Clear, "If you don't, I'll get one of these to monitor you twenty-four-seven," Noiz pulls out an UsagiModoki as it "P?"s in confusion.

"That's no good! You have to give Aoba some privacy, too!"

"Entering people's houses through the windows unannounced is privacy?"

"This is different! And it wasn't unannounced~!!"

"O-Okay, I got it! I'll take care of myself, so-" Aoba rests his hands on their heads and ruffles up their hair. "Neither of you have to worry." He then looks at Noiz. "And you, Noiz! You take care of yourself too! Or I'll personally fly over to Germany."

Noiz barely manages to hold back a quiet chuckle as he grins. "You don't know where I live."

"Don't underestimate me," Aoba stares directly into his eyes, almost glaring. Noiz turns away with his shoulders shaking.

"I would take him seriously if I were you," Koujaku says. "He managed to track down Mink, after all."

"Wait, seriously?" Mizuki glances between Mink and Aoba with his jaw hanging open.

"He did." Mink agrees, his voice soft with amusement and perhaps even affection.

Aoba looks to the ground with a faint blush on his cheeks. "That's... you're making it sound weird." He mumbles, sliding his toes across the carpet.

"That's pretty stalker-y." Noiz twirls an UsagiModoki around in his hand idly as it squeals. Clear hums as he nods in agreement, looking to be in serious deep thought.

"Geez- if you're gonna go, then go! I'm kicking you all out!" Aoba starts to shoo everyone out the door with a pout.

"Ah, but Aoba is cute as well! Especially when he's pretending to be angry! So he's a cute stalker?" Aoba delivers a swift but hard kick to the back of Clear's leg as Clear whines in protest.

Everyone exchanges goodbyes and soon the only people in the house is Ren and Aoba.

Aoba heaves a sigh as he rolls his shoulders. "Things always seem to get chaotic when they're all together in one place, huh. It feels like I'm constantly having to keep them in order..." He breathes a laugh as he can't help but smile. He adored every single one of them, and would always be grateful to have such people in his life.

It feels almost like there's something else other than simple affection for them. But that doesn't make any sense at all, of course- so Aoba didn't really think about it.

He tried not to, at least. But when he was alone with his thoughts in the night and he couldn't sleep, his mind always drifted to them.

Koujaku, Noiz, Clear, Mink, Mizuki, and Ren.

They were all equally important people in Aoba's life. But his feelings and thoughts towards them are... confusing. He doesn't know what he feels, but something tells him it isn't ordinary feelings of friendship.

...But there isn't anything else it could be. Right?

"...Aoba." Aoba jumps somewhat, startled by Ren's sudden voice behind him. He spins around and is met with Ren looking like before.

"Ren? What's wrong?" Aoba's earlier concern comes back in full force. "You seem worried."

Ren's serious expression grows even more troubled. "...I didn't notice how stressed you were getting. I know I'm not an Allmate anymore, and as such this is not the case, but..." Ren takes a breath. "I feel that I need to take care of you. I don't mean to imply that you can't take care of yourself at all, but... I can't rest unless I know that you're okay. I want to make sure you're always healthy and happy, and... considering that I used to be apart of you, and I was with you as an Allmate for so long... I should be better. I should have noticed."

He releases a breath as if this was weighing heavily on his mind for years. "I'm sorry. I want to do better."

Aoba's chest stung with his words. He understands how Ren feels- he feels the same for him, and for everyone else too. But even so, it still must be different in Ren's case.

He is eternally grateful to have Ren here- and to have him here as a human, not an Allmate. He would always be so, so glad that Ren was in his life.

He realizes Ren probably can't help it- but he wishes that Ren would stop putting Aoba above himself. For as much as Ren wants- needs- to take care of Aoba, Aoba feels exactly the same way.

He supposes the difference is that he lets Ren be more independent, while Ren still struggles sometimes to be separated in any way from Aoba.

But when Ren is like this, he really can't help but be reminded of when he was an Allmate. Ren has changed in a lot of ways, definitely- but there's still some things that haven't changed, and Aoba hopes those things never do.

Those things aren't him as an Allmate, or even a human- they're just Ren.

Aoba shakes his head as he pulls Ren into a tight hug. He feels him tense before relaxing and returning the embrace.

"Ren... I know you understand, and I understand how you feel, too... but you shouldn't feel bad about this. I mean, nobody is perfect all the time. Everyone has times where they can't focus or take care of the people in their life, and that's completely fine. Nobody is perfect. And Ren, you're human now. You have your own things to deal with and think about, you can't expect yourself to be able to always take care of me." He pulls back slightly to face Ren with a soft smile. "You're fine just the way you are. So, don't feel bad. You have to take care of yourself as well! That's part of being human. Being imperfect is, too." He presses his forehead to Ren's with a soft laugh as he runs his fingers through Ren's amazingly-soft hair. "It's okay. Remember that."

Ren's breath hitches as he swallows. His grip tightens as he nuzzles against Aoba's forehead and closes his eyes. "...Okay. I'm sorry. Thank you, Aoba."

Aoba grins. "No apologies! There's nothing to be sorry for," He softly ruffles Ren's hair with a giggle. "Although if you want, you could let me pet your hair as an apology."

Ren laughs suddenly before hugging Aoba close once more as he nuzzles Aoba's neck, breathing a soft sigh which tickles Aoba as he squirms ever so slightly.

After a moment, Ren opens his mouth as if to says something, but quickly closes it- and instead presses a soft, barely-there kiss to the side of Aoba's head.

He pulls back with a wide smile and pink-tinted cheeks. He looked beautiful, smiling so clearly happy. "We should start on dinner, it's getting late."

Aoba only stares, mouth opening and closing before he raises his voice in a "Yes!" with his mind just barely processing what he said about dinner.

Ren leaves for the kitchen, leaving Aoba standing in the living room with his heart pounding uncontrollably.

Aoba smacks his reddened cheeks as he forces himself to stop thinking about what just happened and instead follows Ren into the kitchen.

April 22nd.

Ren is taking the day off work to help prepare for Aoba's party. Meanwhile, Aoba couldn't sleep at all that night.

That kiss. What did he mean by that? Ren didn't kiss him on the lips, but still- Ren probably just saw that somewhere and it had no deeper meaning. It was just a friendly, platonic kiss.

But. What if it wasn't? And if it was just a platonic thing then... wouldn't that just be unsatisfying?

...What did he mean by unsatisfying? And why would it be in the first place? Why did Aoba want more?  
But he didn't want more. It was _Ren_. He couldn't feel that way about Ren.

Or the others, for that matter.

So why does he feel that way?  
But he doesn't feel that way.

He groans lowly in the back of his throat as his thoughts from last night continued to swirl around in his head that morning. Maybe his feelings ran deeper than he thought... and if that was the case he was royally fucked.

It's not like he could just _date_ all of them. But he doesn't want to date them, he doesn't like them in that way- what is he even talking about?

He feels tired again already. Honestly maybe he should take a nap. At some point. After work? Maybe. But then everyone else was planning the party.

Aoba takes his coffee stronger than usual in a vain attempt to try and stay awake as he leaves for work, bidding goodbye to Ren.

After ending another weird phone call, Aoba sits back in his chair to gather himself before starting on work again.

...Its his birthday today, huh. How old was he turning? Actually, he didn't want to think about that.

It's technically Ren's birthday today too, but everyone would celebrate that tomorrow. Come to think of it, were they planning a party for him too? They didn't mention anything about Ren, but if this was only for himself he would feel pretty bad. He makes a mental note to find out later and come up with something for Ren himself.

...There is someone else who shared his birthday, isn't there?

Aoba's breath catches in his throat as he swallows, feeling like there was a lump in his throat. He quietly closes his eyes.

It isn't just his birthday. It's Sei's, too.

Scrapping Sei... was one of the hardest things Aoba has ever done in his life. They hadn't even talked before until that point- but somehow, that didn't feel like it was the case.

When they talked, it truly felt like they had been talking their whole lives. It didn't feel like that was their first meeting.

Being with Sei felt comfortable- familiar. Like home. He wanted to hold onto that feeling and go back home with him, eating breakfast with him, going to the park, the theatre, watching TV, wishing each-other goodnight...

"Like we used to," is what he thought. But they had never done anything like that. They were separated at birth, and so... they never got to do any of those normal, everyday things.

And suddenly, like those many times before, Aoba curses himself for not appreciating such normal things more. He got to experience those things every day of his life. Sei... didn't.

And he hated himself for being so selfish. Why did _he_ get such a life, but Sei didn't?  
  
Sei smiled, and his eyes held such kindness- but also a gentle sadness. Even if Sei wished to be destroyed, there was still a part of him that wished to live and be with Aoba. He knew.

And yet he still accepted disappearing with a soft and so terribly brave smile.

When Aoba watched Sei disappear, all that was in his mind was... "Why?"

Even when everything ended and Aoba adjusted back into a normal life... his chest felt empty. He lost Sei. And it felt like a massive part of his life- of himself- was torn away violently, never to return.

Sei isn't coming back. And it hurts so badly. Aoba learned to move on, in a way- and cope. But he still remembered, of course. He could never forget his brother.

Did Sei ever have a proper birthday celebration? Was it ever even acknowledged?

Was there ever a time when Sei was happy? When he wasn't being experimented on? Was there ever a moment of peace for him?

Aoba feels immense guilt. He had so many wonderful people in his life that were going out of their way to throw a party to celebrate his birthday... but did he truly deserve it? Why him, and not Sei? Why not _both_ of them?

Why?

He doubts he can bring himself to fully enjoy today, but he can't ignore the party and everyone else's efforts. He has to try and stay positive, even if it's just for them.

He can... celebrate Sei's birthday after the party. That wouldn't be nearly enough, but he has to do something.

"..." He can't bring himself to speak, fearing that if he tried, he would just burst out sobbing.

_I'm sorry, Sei._

Haga ends up having to remind Aoba to start heading home. Aoba quickly texts Ren, asking if everything was ready - it isn't. He would be texted when the party was ready so he decides to head an old favourite place of his.

The park.

It was the same park he and Koujaku played at all the time back when they were kids. It hasn't really changed much, except with some new equipment and some of the old stuff being replaced with newer versions.

The swing is one of them. It looks a lot different now, being generally sturdier and safer than when he was a kid. It was his favourite thing to play on, but he never had anyone to push him on the swings- until Koujaku came along, that is.

He sits down on the worn rubber seat and smiles softly. This park isn't used much anymore, you don't often see kids playing here. Definitely not as active as when Aoba was young.

He idly swings back and forth. He remembers when he brought Clear here, after Aoba mentioned it and Clear become so excited he was practically vibrating on the spot. Clear's favourite thing ended up being the swings too, although there wasn't much else they could do as the equipment was obviously designed for kids... and they were two fully grown adults.

He was lucky even the swings could be used by them.

He had to physically drag Clear away and promise they would come back another time.

He tried to bring Noiz here too, once- but Noiz wouldn't budge, insisting that he wasn't a kid. Which Aoba _knew_ but he wanted to share one of his childhood joys with him, especially considering Noiz's own childhood.

He'll try again sometime, though. He's determined to see Noiz on the swings.

Thinking of it, it would be nice if he invited Koujaku as well... Mizuki too. He doubted he would be able to convince Mink, though...

Ren could come, too...

He pauses. What is he thinking about? He shakes his head with a troubled smile.

He looks up at the reddened, darkening sky, admiring the clouds drifting by.

Everyone really has changed so much. All for the better. And with that thought comes the question from days before once again- How has Aoba changed?

...He doesn't know. Has he even changed at all? Everyone else had grown and become better people. They have their futures set out for them, continuing forward in a clear, straight path.

Where was Aoba's path headed? What is his future going to be like?

These are questions he honestly hasn't asked himself in many years.

Is Aoba still in the same place as before Platinum Jail? Even after all these years?

Aoba still works at Junk Shop Heibon, his position in that job hasn't even changed. He still lives with Tae. He doesn't really have any new hobbies or interests or skills or anything like that. When he thinks about it, things were pretty much the same as they were before.

The same, not the same, whatever. A lot of things have changed, but a lot of things haven't changed as well.

And then there's the question everyone goes through, yet almost never have an answer to-

What is he doing with his life?

And not in a self-deprecating way. Generally... things can't stay like this forever, can they?

Is he really supposed to spend the rest of his life answering phone calls at his weird local shop whilst living with his grandmother? Especially when everyone else were moving onto bigger and better things?

...What can he even do? Does he really have any useful talents or skills?

What does he _want_ to do?

He doesn't... know. He sighs as he rests his head against the chain of the swing. There isn't really anything he was interested in, he doesn't think.

_What about Allmates? We used to be crazy about 'em._

Aoba suddenly hears that familiar voice in his head. He's been pretty quiet lately, actually...

_I mean, maybe... but I only learned about Allmates to fix Ren. So I don't know._ He replies, having long gotten used to hearing Desire's voice in his head and replying to him as well.

_Then what about something else tech-related? We've always had an interest in that._

Aoba frowns, confused as to why Desire is actively trying to help him, but...

_Maybe... I dunno. Why are we talking about this, anyway?_

He can imagine Desire's shrug. _Because you're having a crisis, apparently._

_It's not a crisis._

_Uh-huh._ Aoba rolls his eyes as Desire goes back to silence.

_What about you, then? Anything you wanna do?_ Aoba grows curious. Desire doesn't really talk about himself much, honestly.

_Nah. My interests aren't that different from yours, anyway. As long as it's not boring I don't care what we do. Which is why I'm glad you're finally thinking about this because fuck, I hate Junk Shop Heibon._

Aoba fails to suppress a snort. _But it's important. I can't just... quit. And Haga would be left to run things on his own..._

He feels like Desire is rolling his eyes really hard right about now. _You need to think about yourself more. You can't sacrifice your own happiness for others convenience._

He... has a very valid point. Aoba blinks in silence- it wasn't often that Desire is more reasonable and logical like this. He believes they've probably been slowly influencing each-other over the years, so maybe that's why.

_Like, you know- getting railed into next week by those "friends" of ours._

Aoba coughs and chokes on air, his cheeks beginning to tint red. He should've guessed that it wouldn't last, though.

_What the hell do you mean by that? And friends? Which friends? You don't mean-_

_You know exactly what I mean, don't even try and deny it. Ren, Clear, Koujaku, Noiz, Mink, Mizuki... you want them all, and you know you do._ He hears Desire start cackling as his cheeks burn even more.

_No- I don't! They're my friends! I can't... think of them like that._ Aoba feels shame burn brightly in his chest, scorching him. Wanting all of them- is disgusting, isn't it?

_And yet you want it so badly._ Desire retorts, as if hearing Aoba's unsaid fears. _Besides, I'm not saying you want them only for sex._

That makes Aoba pause. Honestly things would be a lot simpler if he _did_ just want that- but that wasn't all. But then how was it even possible that he liked all of them at once?

Desire starts speaking again. _I know you've been stressing over it for years and it's fucking annoying. Just admit that you like them already- what good does it do to deny your own desires?_

_But... I can't. I can't just... "date" all of them. They wouldn't... want me, either. And- And even if they did, they wouldn't want-_

_Oh my **god** shut up. You need to talk to them eventually, you can't keep doing this to yourself. And me, for the record._

_...You?_

Desire releases a quiet breath, as if struggling to keep cool. _Yes, me. We're both Aoba. So obviously I also..._ Desire trails off with a sigh. _Anyway. If you don't talk to them, I will- and we both know how I'll want to resolve things._

Aoba rubs his hand against his forehead in an attempt to calm his incoming headache. Which this time, _was_ due to him. Not in the same way as before, but still.

_I'll... talk to them at some point. But not tonight._

_Why not? They're all going to be at our house for the party, it's a perfect opportunity. Noiz and Mink might leave again tomorrow and you'll be stuck until you have another chance, which could be months. Stop being a bitch and talk to them._

Aoba runs it over in his head. Desire is correct- but he can easily ruin everything with this, can't he? Or would things turn out better than he's thinking?

...No, of course they won't. What Aoba wants... is absurd.

_It's not,_ He hears Desire speak up again with a sigh. _Cutting off your own happiness and wants for the sake of societal norms is bullshit._

Aoba can't help but let out a huff of laughter. _Of course you of all people would say that._

_Well yeah, obviously._ Despite Desire's harsh words, Aoba thinks he can hear a hint of fond amusement in his voice.

Neither of them say a word more as Aoba quietly watches the sunset. It's his birthday today, he shouldn't spend it thinking of what he's going to do with his life or what his future held.

He can think about those things seriously another time. For now, he has a party to go to.

He checks his coil, there's been no messages from anyone yet.

Aoba spends the rest of the time playing on the swing until eventually he gets the message to go home for the party.

Aoba finds himself standing in front of the door to his own house feeling a mix of anticipation, excitement and nervousness. He only wishes Sei could be here with him to celebrate their birthdays together.

He shakes his head- he had to focus on the party for now. As guilty as it makes him feel.

He opens the door and steps inside slowly. He could hear voices and general activity coming from the living room, but after he replaces his shoes for his slippers and hangs up his coat, he notices something on the floor.

Multiple things on the floor, actually.

...Pieces of paper. Letters?

Aoba stares at them with a puzzled frown. They're aligned in a row, one after the other, and there's six of them.

He hesitantly bends down to pick up the paper nearest to him. He unfolds it to see neat, cursive hand-writing. _Oh god._

_Don't tell me they each wrote me a letter..._ Aoba feels his cheeks begin to burn in embarrassment. Is this seriously what this is? Is that why there's six of them?

He takes a breath and begins reading- this one is from Koujaku. Knowing him, he's the one who even came up with this idea.

It's... a lot. Not too long, but it fills the entire sheet of A4 paper. It's simple, just a white sheet of paper.

But the words. And what it said.

Aoba feels his chest warm and tighten the more he reads. Koujaku wrote how Aoba had saved him, even when they were kids- how much he cherished and appreciated Aoba every single day.

Honestly, it's a lot to be written to just a friend, but... Koujaku has always been way too cheesy. Which explains this whole thing, but anyway.

He wrote how Aoba accepted him. His past, his tattoos and his sins. He didn't run away and instead told him to keep living even as he felt that he couldn't- that he shouldn't.

How even when they were kids, Aoba gave him the courage to keep fighting. And that he's so grateful and lucky for everything.  
  


At the end of it, Aoba lets out a quiet breath. His hands are trembling ever so slightly. Leave it to Koujaku to write such a weirdly romantic thing.

He eyes the other letters. He picks up the next one and begins to read.

This one is from Noiz. Aoba can't help but imagine how hard it must have been to convince Noiz to even do this and he has to stifle a laugh.

The hand-writing is a bit messier, maybe Noiz is more accustomed to typing instead of writing on paper.

This one is a little bit shorter than Koujaku's, as Noiz tries to keep it brief- but the things he talks about, Aoba has never heard him say before. He didn't even know it was possible for Noiz to be so... sincere and sweet. It kind of throws him for a loop.

He never realized how... thankful Noiz was. For giving him the ability to feel, for protecting him and not even expecting anything in return. Noiz never really expressed it much, so seeing it all written like this is... a little overwhelming.

He wrote how he always looked forward to seeing Aoba when he visited Midorijima. How even the thought of Aoba and his determination gave him the will to keep working and fill out mind-numbingly boring paperwork and attend stuffy business meetings.

Aoba closes his eyes and wills away the oncoming tears. It must have taken a lot for Noiz to express himself like this, he knows.

He quickly moves onto the next one before he loses the courage to do so.

This one is Clear, and is even longer than Koujaku's. The writing is a bit bigger though- and on the corners of the paper he drew little jellyfishes and dogs. Aoba's shoulders shake as he silently laughs before he starts to read.

He wrote how he only ever had his grandfather, and when he passed he was unbearably lonely. How he thought himself to be weird, a monster for how he looked- and the swell of emotion he felt when Aoba didn't judge him when he finally showed his face.

How Aoba is an incredible, hard-working and selfless person. When Clear woke up after being repaired, the first thing he wanted- no, needed, was to see Aoba again.

Aoba sucks in a breath of air as his hands trembled even more and he reaches for the next one.

Mink. The writing was neat and small, but still managed to fill more than half the page.

He wrote how Aoba changed him. How his words made him feel alive- how they made him want to live. How he still lamented over his own actions but did not expect forgiveness.

How he wanted to accept his past and move forward.

And how he wished Aoba happiness and good fortune in his life- and how Aoba's cheerfulness and stubbornness lifted his spirits every time he visited Midorijima.

The letter in Aoba's hands shook as he pressed his lips together tightly. He never imagined Mink to ever say such things- he can't stop his own chest filling with warmth.

He pauses for a moment before taking the next one.

Mizuki- Aoba doubts he can read it properly feeling like this but he blinks away the tears and reads. The writing is impeccable, not cursive but neater than Koujaku's.

Mizuki had met Aoba when he was just a teen- when Desire was more in control. He expresses how he always wanted to help Aoba, as he reminded him of himself when he was a kid. How he wanted Aoba to feel like he had a family and people to turn to. How he wanted Aoba to be more open and honest, and how he was determined to make that happen.

He writes how he doesn't hold anything against Aoba when he failed Scrap. How he's instead grateful for breaking him out of Morphine's brainwashing- and how Aoba has always, always been an important friend.

Aoba's breath catches in his throat as he fights helplessly against the tears streaming slowly down his face. This was all... so... so...

There's one more letter.

Aoba stares at it for a moment, fearing that if he read any more he'd start crying for real. But he has to read it. He has to.

He picks it up with shaky hands.

...This one is Ren's.

It's the longest, too.

The tears keep rolling down his cheeks and he doesn't even bother to wipe them away. They drip onto the floor- again. Again. And again.

He silently curses everyone for making him so emotional like this- and on his _birthday!_

But these tears were happy ones. Ones full of joy.

His heart feels like it's going to burst as his whole body feels pleasantly warm- happy.

Ren had always been with him, from the very start. There wasn't a day really, when they weren't together. And even now, Ren- everyone- have stuck by Aoba's side.

They were truly irreplaceable- every single one of them.

And he dearly loved each of them, too.

" _Happy birthday, Aoba. When you're ready, there's one more surprise._ " Aoba just barely registers what the writing at the bottom of the letter says. It's hard to read through his tears.

Aoba carefully sets the pile of letters on the table in the hallway, his shaky legs bringing him to the living room which was now a bit quieter than before. He tries his best to wipe away the tears, but it's no use. But being seen like this is... embarrassing.

He takes a deep breath and enters the room, which immediately turns silent.

And as he expected, everyone is here. ...Except for Ren and Tae.

Before anyone can say anything, Aoba quietly laughs as he once again wipes at his reddened and wet cheeks. "You guys are seriously horrible for making me cry like this on my birthday, you know?" He manages to speak in a quiet voice- with a beaming smile. "Horrible... all of you."

Before he realizes it, he's wrapped in a tight hug- Koujaku. Clear immediately joins, then Mizuki, and only Noiz and Mink are left.

"Come on, you two." He hears Koujaku's voice followed by a sigh as another body joins the group hug- then another, although this one merely rubs Aoba's back instead of joining the group hug.

Aoba can't help but laugh.

After a moment, they all let go as Noiz hands Aoba his handkerchief. Aoba accepts it gratefully and carefully wipes at his cheeks.

"Seriously, though... why letters?" Aoba giggles with a quirked brow.

"It's Koujaku's fault," Noiz immediately responds as Koujaku whips his head around to stare at Noiz.

"What do you mean my _fault?_ " He almost demands, sounding almost offended.

"Well, it is pretty cheesy..." Mizuki snorts.

"I think it's nice! And Aoba seemed to appreciate it anyway," Clear chimes in with a smile, looking pleased.

"I-I did! I... I liked them... I just... never expected anything like... that." Aoba clears his throat as he glances away. "I didn't... realize. Um-" He shakes his head as he faces them once again, taking a breath. "I... thank you. Thank you all so much. I truly... truly appreciate it. And- not just the letters, I... I mean... everything. For everything. " He looks away once more with redder cheeks. "...Thank you."

He feels Clear hug him tightly once again. "Of course, Aoba! We wanted to show you how important you are," And then he pulls back again.

Mizuki nods with a smile. "Right, so... if you ever start doubting yourself you have to remember those letters."

"Geez... this is all really... cheesy." Aoba laughs. "Ah, Ren isn't here. Or Granny..." He looks around again.

"Oh, yeah..." Koujaku frowns, seeming confused on how to explain.

"Ren mentioned another surprise in his letter, right?" Noiz asks and Aoba nods.

"All three of them are waiting outside." Mink explains.

"Three?" Aoba frowns, puzzled. Koujaku's expression softens.

"You'll see. Do you think you can see them now? It's... going to be a lot for you." Aoba's frown deepens as he grows even more confused.

"Well... yeah. I'm ready. And it doesn't sound like it can wait, anyway." He grins.

"Then we'll take you, come on!" Clear grins excitedly and guides Aoba out of the house.

Aoba is taken to a small park full of greenery, one that Aoba hasn't seen many times before. His heart pounds in his chest, feeling warmth and nervousness fill his entire body even in the cool night air.

Whatever it is, he knows it's going to be... important.

With every step he takes, he feels his restlessness and excitement grow to be almost unbearable. He's almost there, it's like he can feel it.

When he's finally guided to a stop, he can feel his legs shake and his hands tremble.

There are three people in front of him on a bench, the street lamp beside just barely illuminating them.

Tae, Ren, and in the middle was someone he doesn't recognize.

No, that's wrong- he does, but he can't see their face. But a part of him already knows who it is.

They're wearing simple black jeans, a white long-sleeved shirt with Ren's own jacket hung over their shoulders- their skin is an almost deathly pale, and their hair is jet black.

They slowly lift their face.

A small spark of electricity seems to appear between them- or is Aoba only imagining it?

Time seems to still as Aoba's breath is taken away.

He can only stare, wide-eyed - silent.

They smile widely, gently, their eyes seeming to shine as they take a breath. "...Aoba." They suddenly stand, and take a step towards Aoba. "Aoba-!" Their own breath seems to be taken away as they hold out their arms. "Happy birthday, Aoba. I missed you."

Aoba's legs move on their own as he envelops them in a gentle but strong embrace. He was afraid if he hugged too hard, they would shatter, almost- they looked so thin and frail back then.

"..." Aoba can't get the words out, no matter how hard he tries- but he forces himself to speak, as if to confirm that they're actually here, right now. "...Sei... Sei...!"

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long. But... I'm here now. And I promise I won't leave again." Sei pulls back to show another beaming smile. He looks... alive. Unlike last time.

This time, Sei truly did seem to be living. And his eyes shone with so much emotion unlike last time, too. Sei is truly... here.

Before Aoba has realized it, he's crying once again. "Sei..." He repeats his name once again, still in disbelief. How is Sei here? Is this a dream? It has to be, right? But Sei is warm in his arms. "Happy birthday..."

Sei laughs- and Aoba realizes that's the first time he's ever heard Sei laugh, and yet it sounds so familiar. "Yes. I think this is the best birthday I could ask for."

Aoba pulls him close as they stay hugging, both unwilling to let go.

April 26th.

"Sei, are you sure I should do this?" Aoba starts chewing on his pencil for the nth time that afternoon as Sei giggles and pries the pencil away from Aoba's mouth.

"I'm sure. They all really cherish you, I can tell. If I wasn't sure about this I wouldn't be pushing you to do it." Sei pets Aoba's head as Aoba chuckles nervously, slightly calmed by Sei's touches.

"Yeah... I'm sorry, I'm just... nervous." He releases a sigh as he looks back down at the sheet of paper in front of him, a bin of scrapped paper next to his desk.

"I understand that... well, I've never confessed before, but I think I understand as much as I'm able to." Sei laughs as Aoba's blushes and mumbles as he hands his head. Aoba suddenly feels arms around his shoulders as he smiles and leans into the touch. "Just remember that I believe in you, Aoba. And if they're not nice about your letter then Ta- ...Granny will take care of it." They both laugh. "But I know they won't be. They simply love you too much." And Aoba is back to being flustered.

"A-Anyway... thank you." Sei smiles as he ruffles Aoba's hair once more before pulling back and sitting down on Aoba's bed, picking up the children's story book he was reading earlier. He said he never read one before and had always wanted to.

There's a minute of silence until a sigh breaks it. "...I think I need a new sheet of paper." Sei chuckles as Aoba solemnly grabs a new sheet from the pile.

After a while, Aoba is broken out of his train of thought when Sei speaks. "Oh, right... I think you mentioned before about wanting a new job, is that right? Have you decided on anything?"

Aoba laughs awkwardly. "Ah... well, I guess so... maybe?"

Sei leans forward, intrigued and excited. "What is it?"

"Well... I'm not really sure yet, but... fixing and working on stuff like computers has always interested me. And I worked on Ren's Allmate for a really long time." Sei nods, with everything being explained to him before. "Ren already repairs Allmates, though..."

"Couldn't you both work on Allmates? It could be fun." Sei suggests with a smile.

"Maybe... I'll have to talk to him about it," Aoba stretches his arms above his head with a groan and glances back at the paper in front of him. "...After this, I guess."

Sei laughs. "Well, whatever you do, I wish you luck. I know you'll do well." Aoba gives Sei an appreciative smile.

"Thank you. Okay, back to... this." He starts writing again, a sudden thought of Sei having an Allmate appearing in his head. He'll have to ask about that later.

July 2nd.

Aoba looks over at everyone in the living room as he and Sei carry trays of drinks for them all.

Tae is in the corner reading a magazine, Koujaku and Noiz are having some sort of heated competition on their coils, Mink and Clear are discussing knitting really seriously, whilst Mizuki is marvelling at how soft Ren's hair is as Ren sits obediently still with a troubled yet amused smile.

"I'm dating these idiots," Aoba comments with a fond smile. Sei laughs with a nod as they both enter and set down their trays on the table.

Beni is sitting on Koujaku's head throwing dirty looks at Huracan, who's simply content on Mink's shoulder - while a lone Usagimodoki sits atop the Allmate Ren's head, after Sei expressed that the Allmate should be used more often than it was before. Aoba hadn't just left it turned off all those years, but he couldn't bring himself to take it out as much as he maybe should have. Sei immediately wanted to change that.

After expressing how he felt to everyone via that letter, things took a while to become like this. And even now, it wasn't perfect... but honestly, Aoba had a really good feeling about all of this.

They all felt the same way, and everyone was more than willing to make this relationship work. Aoba felt that maybe the pieces would slip together quicker than he imagines.

In a way, Aoba feels like his life is moving again. He hears Desire comment about him becoming too mushy and sappy- Aoba can't help but grin.

He couldn't imagine things any other way, though.

And he couldn't be happier.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> (As a note, there's some small extra stuff with Sei that I wanted to add in but... didn't really feel I could? Basically my shit explanation for this is that the fragments of Sei's consciousness formed over the years... this. I don't know, I just wanted a happy ending with Sei o k ay)  
> (So... I'm sorry I didnt write that in but I hope it maybe clears some things up? If you had any questions ;w;)  
> (It's probably half-assed but... Sei deserves a happy ending)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment <3


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